Thursday, December 09, 2004

what do you tell someone who says: "kat, ur my biggest crush....."

nothing... i shrug at the fact and ask the question: WHY? ha-ha-ha.

most people would take advantage of that poor soul. i bet i would... if i was in the mood or just wanted to do so. but here's the thing... deceiving someone just for the heck of it and fulfilling my idea of vengeance subliminally meant for another person; whether for utter pleasure or just to get into my usual meanness is not a particular past time i'd like to go back into practice. basically because:

i dont want to get karma.

i guess i know exactly how that person feels. he's good looking but i have my bet on someone else, in such short notice. being ignored and taken for granted bites. i should know. but we cant always have our way. it's the bitter fact... that's life. and none of this changes the reality that i like seeing other people suffer. death is the birth of new opportunities and gives room to a vaster possibility of change. [i am so going to hell for this...]

i cant force myself to be nice. i dont think i should even waste my time on my confessor. i value the times when i see the people i dont like in pain... the people who hurt me in total discomfort; because of my own doing.

you dont appreciate someone who likes you because there's no thrill. you dont reciprocate the feeling because it's too easy... there's no challenge. you already have the person hooked, you know when you hurt them, they're still going to be there. so why do we have to put effort in not crushing their petty fancies?

does HE think that way of me? oh i hope not... i pray he doesnt know.

but if HE takes the liberty to ask... i'll let him in on my sin. IRONIC!!

i have a profound explaination but i dont want to say.

wow.. those statements just went against everything i am supposed to live by. this is exactly why i do not deserve to be CATHOLIC.


leaving skool nothing to see here at 1:35 AM

{xoxo}