the freak has lost her streak and can now honestly say that she has never felt this good in ages! heck... everybody knows she's in bliss. she didnt have a nightmare, no, not this time... she had something else. her visions were so graphic, so far-fetched... she had no idea they were actually real. she woke up smiling. :D oh how she missed that. this is the worst hang over she has ever gotten since the day she downed her first marguerita, followed it with 2 zombies, a glass of weng weng and 5 shots of tequila when she was in 6th grade at her cousin's party. our princess was so innocent, so naive then until she had her own awakening and realized what kind of life she wanted to lead. to think that she didnt even drink at all and it has been almost a week since that night. oh that awesome night. alcohol is not the only thing that can get you high... a smile could leave a lasting effect as well. christ.. la mujer is drowning.

this euphoria makes her curious, it makes her pine. and she's not even the type who hungers for things she knows she can have. she doesnt care. she never did. all she wants to do is live and be free. they tell her she's wrong for being different. they call her names because they cant understand her. she never wanted to be understood in the first place. how could she demand that? she cant even master her own thoughts, she cant even figure out her true identity. so now she finds herself in a catatonic state, stiff and rigid at the thought of... she will not say. it makes her blush all the same. she's disillusioned, delusional, destructively hopeful... she admits. but i know she will turn out just fine... as long as she doesnt act upon impulse and i am there to caution her. this strange little girl is learning to control herself... but still manages to swim in her own bohemian paradise with the person she fancies and the crowd where she belongs. or so she thinks...

***********

she woke up and saw the world in a different light. and boy was it a pretty sight. she has started to embrace the fact that her likes are her wants. her wants are her needs. her needs are her longings. her longings are her cravings. her cravings are her yearnings. her yearnings are her passions. her passions are her desires and though they bring her to her ruin, she lusts for them more. but unlike other people... she doesnt want to be saved, nor protected......

that's not me, mind you...